


It never gets better

by Michaelgavinfreejones



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cutting, Depressed Gavin Free, Depression, Eventual Gavin Free/Michael Jones, M/M, Making Out, Male Homosexuality, Protective Michael Jones, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:01:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5348366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Michaelgavinfreejones/pseuds/Michaelgavinfreejones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you're a foreign student, sometimes being so new and different isn't a good thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It never gets better

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO TO THE PEOPLE WHO READ MY OTHER FICS I'm sorry I didn't get to any of them. I'm slowly getting back into writing. I will, and I promise I WILL get back to pills and pain because wow a lot of people like that one.
> 
> For now have another depression fic because I for some reason write those a lot.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

It's a new year alright. Nothing good can come out of being some new guy in a small school, especially foreign with an accent no one's heard much of before.

_"Wow you're so weird."  
_

_"Speak english why don't you?"  
_

_"Haha, so stupid, what an idiot!”  
_

I've been getting comments like this all week. I didn't think I was stupid before. Living in england I was actually very bright and had excellent grads. Not to say I don't know, but I guess that doesn't matter here. If you sound different in any sort of way you're classified as an 'idiot'. 

I stopped feeling happy the moment we moved here. I use to have a great relationship with my parents, but ever since my mother married this idiot asshole of a man and moved down here to be with him, our relationship crumbled to dust in  an instant. Life at home is always filled with the both yelling at me for being a terrible son, and life at school is kids yelling at me about being an idiot or stupid. No matter what I do everything crumbles to a dust, so I just give up.

I stopped talking at school which for some reason only made things worse. "Oh the british idiot lost his words? What happened? Did you "minge" it all up and fried your brain finally?" It's all too much to take. 

"Holy fuck dude, people really don't like you." A curly haired guy said, turning in his seat to look at me. He had this smirk on his face when I didn't answer, I already know what he's going to say. "What, a british cat got your tongue?" yup, here it comes. "Come on dude, cheer up a bit."

Cheer up... with life tumbling down ward how could anyone just cheer up? I think I finally annoyed him, he stopped looking at me. At least he didn't pester me on and on like the others, but who's to say he won't. Just another added asshole to the bunch.

"Class I need those papers done by tomorrow. If not you will fail this class."   
I didn't even start on that stupid paper. How can I with two adults yelling at me constantly? Why can't life go back to the way it use to? When my mother and I would go out for ice cream in the evening and just chat about our days? When we had pizza and played board games every friday night to celebrate the end of a hard week? Why can't we go back to that?

"Oh, look who's home. Dinner is on the table, your father and I already ate since you're so late coming home." My mother said, lecturing me right when I got in the door. 

I wasn't late, it's only a five minute walk from the school. She always makes supper early now, and when I get to it it's always cold and disgusting. Who can live like this? 

"Oh, and I got a call from the school. They say you're already failing history?! I did not raise you to fail your classes Gavin! You better get to work after you eat, and I don't want to see you out of your room until you're done!"

It was already starting. I was in school for no more than 2 weeks and I’m already failing. It all didn’t matter to me, to everyone I’ll always be an idiot, a failure, nothing good to this world. It wouldn’t matter in the end if I finished this paper or not. We all die in the end, and this one piece of paper won’t even matter.

“What a disgrace of a child.”

“Yeah... Love you too mother.”

*                                                          *                                                             *  
  


I did nothing on that paper, maybe a page but that's it. I was asked to see the teacher after school, but why go through all of that effort? I'm failing, even with that paper I'd probably only pass by a little bit and that's still not good enough.

"Dude, you have some balls not handing that shit in." it was that curly hairs guy again. What's his deal? "Dude seriously what's up with you? You haven't been here over two weeks and already failing?"

I say nothing. What could I say? As soon as I open my mouth this guy will probably mock me about my accent.

"That's some balls." And that was the last of his words, each one stabbing me further and further. It hurt but at the same time I feel nothing. 

The rest of the day was simple. I was pushed around some more, went to each class and did nothing, got pushed around more, and returned home. I was yelled at by my parents once again, telling me I'm a disgrace as a child and went straight to my room, skipping dinner altogether. Which is fine, because apparently there 'wasn't enough' anyway. 

"Gavin!" My mother yells, voice in a very mad, high pitched tone.

_Shut up..._

"Gavin get down here now!"

_Just shut up..._

"Gavin you piece of shit you're mother is calling you!"

"Shut up!" That, that was the biggest mistake I've done in a very long time. Yelling back at my step father was like yelling at the devil. You just don't or you're basically dead.

The door swung open, revealing what looked like an actual devil. I think I blacked out of fear because I don't quite remember what happened, but I woke up the next morning with a swollen lip and bruised rib. I felt something snap at this moment, like all of my cares about myself, my life, just everything that mattered disappeared. I was already dead, inside and to the world, so why not push it over the edge?

I waited until I heard my parents go to bed. After the asshole left my room they didn't bother me again. When I saw the lights go out, I waited exactly an hour before grabbing my sweater and leaving the house. It was going to end tonight, once and for all. 

It's cold and very windy. I don't know why I didn't choose a nicer night, but I just can't wait anymore. I can't wait one more damn week to do this. There's a very long bridge near the edge of town that takes a while to get to, but it's worth it. I couldn't exactly think of an easier way to end it. No way to get ontop of high buildings, which was a rare thing to see in this town, so falling to it was a no. Plus it would be too messy and quite frankly, even though I want to end it I don't exactly want to traumatize people while doing it.

Water always fascinated me. It was calming to watch the current move along to easily, and how light sparkled off of it even in the darkest of nights such as this.

"Better now than never." 

I was already sitting on the edge for a good 15 minutes just watching the current. I wanted to relax before anything happened, but even then 15 more minutes past and I'm still sitting here. My face is already wet, and honestly I felt terrified. What would happen in death. Darkness? Would I still be aware of things when I'm gone? 

"Whoa hey, you're the new guy right?"

I felt my blood leave my cold face, shocked and honestly a bit frightened from the voice behind me. When I turned my head it was the curly haired guy. Great, he's everywhere isn't he?

"Leave me alone."

"Oh, so you do talk. I always thought you were mute or something."  
Mute? I guess I was pretty close to that. "There's no point in talking when you're made fun of it."

"Fuck them dude. I was made fun of too but I fucked them up and they stopped." 

"Why? You don't have an 'unusual' accent". He didn't say 'bip' 'mullered' or any other 'weird' words that apparently weren't english.

"Actually I use to have a really strong jersey accent. It stopped after a while, but it comes out every now and then."

"Yeah, but you sound normal now. I'll never sound normal. I'll never be good enough." I could hear his sigh after my words, deep and annoyed. Just that alone felt like knives in my gut.

"Can you just.. I don't know, go away or something? Be anywhere other than here? "

"Nah, I'm fine. It's nice out, why go somewhere else when I'm already here?" His words made my gut twist in a giant knot. I just want to go! Why is he here, why can't I ever be alone? I can't go off with him standing right there. 

"Leave me alone... There's probably plenty of other nice places to hang around at night. The bridge isn't even that great." That was the truth. The bridge was worn down, rusted and just old over all. No cars were allowed on it anymore, and there's only a 10 person limit for walking across.

"I'm not leaving dude. I'm not going to play stupid anymore, I know what you're out here to do. I'd kind of be a shitty person if I just left and let you do it."

I felt my body freeze. Why did this have to happen? Why was he even here? 

"Well, whatever you think I'm doing I'm-"  
  
"Going to kill yourself?" Damn him, "Yeah exactly. Dude why don't you come down here and come over?"  
  
"Sod off." I winced at my own words. Sod, one of the many words people used against me for being 'weird'.

"No you 'sod off'. Come on, I've got a blow up bed at my place. It's pretty quiet and we can talk in the morning if you want. Honestly, I don't care anymore. Either you come here or I'm dragging you back."

I felt my face getting wetter. I just wanted to die, go in peace and he's ruining it. Why does everything have to turn into dust? Why can't anything be whole anymore?

"I'm going to count to 5 and if you don't move I'm dragging you over here."

5... A count to 5.

"1..."

_I'll be gone._

"2..."

_I didn't want to traumatize anyone with my death, but I'm sure he'll get over it._

"3..."

_It'll be cold, but it'll get better. It'll all end finally._

"4..."  
  
 _I'm sorry..._

"5..."


End file.
